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During our life time, we meet people from all walks of life. Some may go on to be lifelong friends, while others may flit in and out of our lives for whatever reason. In the meantime we may have doubts and disbelief about the friendship, this will create a sense of mistrust between the two individuals that the friendship will either break if one or the other cannot deal with the truth.

Not being able to trust seems to occur most often between a man and a woman. The mind can be a powerful tool it has a way of taking over and creating a situation which is not necessarily there. You may even feel that he or she is seeing someone else, because of the time not being spent with each other on regular basis.

So how does one deal with the situation at hand, which can fester and perhaps create ongoing insecurities to the point where therapy is needed? Speak to each other to discuss the feelings you are harbouring. At the time you may feel as though nothing is going to be achieved from the discussion; you are creating your own self doubt by not believing that you are worthy of being listened to and recognising that there’s a problem.

So how do we move forward to achieve the outcome that is so needed to bring each other together? Begin first by taking the time to listen to what each other has to say and pin pointing the areas which is lacking in trust. In our society today, trust is one of the biggest problems we have in our relationships. Trust issues are responsible for separations and divorces between several couples. Divorce rates are becoming even higher as one or more relationships cannot move forward because one half cannot forgive the other. Some cannot move forward by laying to rest the issue responsible for creating the mistrust. You only need to turn on the television each morning to see the different shows from America and the UK; the British are not far behind the Americans in executing lie detector tests for couples who are unable to trust each other.

How do we learn to trust the other person? We must first get to grips with learning to trust and believing in ourselves. Trust issues can stem from a past situation which has created that fear in the individual. They carry this emotional upheaval inside them for a number of years and this can seem like torture which has no ending. Every relationship they embark on, at some point will have similarities to a previous one. The most common mistake people make is not dealing with the past. They step out of one situation and go straight into another and then wonder why the past is coming back to haunt them. We need to ask ourselves how we can avoid this happening time and time again. I believe admitting to yourself that you have a problem is the first step taken and the rest will become history over a period of time.

Beatrice Elder

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